Here is a letter we received in response to our June piece on a woman who left a bad marriage: Dear folks (and Margaux Sullivan), In regard to your article “Starting Over” published in your June 2014 issue of Canadian Living, if I were this young woman’s grandmother, this is what I would say to her: -If you fly in the face of everything your mother taught you while you were growing up- this will make waves and chances are- she will be very upset. This is true whether you are Catholic, Protestant or Muslim. -Don’t even accept anything at face value- find out why. If you can’t live with the why or find a good reason for something, perhaps this is not right for you. -If you feel over-stressed and undervalued as well as over-scheduled, you need to talk to your doctor, not family or friends. When you feel like this all the time, you need to see your doctor NOW. - Playing “kissy-face” with someone else’s husband and telling him that you love him will not help problems in your marriage or his. Neither will it make your husband feel more kindly toward you. My husband and I have been married for decades, but if I spent my time kissing someone else’s husband, I would soon have no husband and no home either. -If you have controversial friendships, you will have criticism from both sides of the argument. If you don’t want to cook, stay out of the kitchen. -You cannot force people to forgive you for anything, especially if you are not willing to cooperate with them or attempt to see things from their viewpoint. This is a sad but true fact of life. -Finally, attempt to cultivate an “attitude of gratitude”; a small apartment, a “crappy” car. Whatever happened to using a paintbrush or a hammer and making new curtains? Anyone can live in a building but it takes effort and caring to make it a home. At one time my husband and I owned “crappy” cars, too but as my grandmother told me, “Clean and paid for is what counts. Some car is better than no car and it sure beats walking if you need one.” Millions of people in this world could never afford any car and they don’t feel like it will ruin their life. -Finally, please understand, these statements are meant to be kindly suggestions not criticisms; but this young woman really needs to wake up and smell the coffee. You can’t have your cake and eat it, too. That is also a true fact of life and it really has not a lot to do with your faith, it has to do with how you are as a person and how you get along with others as a result. Sign me, A concerned British Columbia grandmother What do you think of this concerned grandmother's advice? Photography by John Hryniuk